When last we spoke – which is how I think of you reading my previous Twilight blurbs, Reader – the sanguineous sweethearts Edward and Bella had just become affianced within director David Slade’s shadow-soaked cinematography. Now the wedding’s on and the honeymoon’s set, but who’s that at the helm? Why, it’s Academy Award winner Bill Condon, fresh off Beyoncé vehicle Dreamgirls. With a gay man finally in control of this franchise, the camp value skyrockets with one of the most unsettling depictions of pregnancy ever made. And for some reason, the pro-life themes stay strong. I guess even when the Mormons are vampires, they’re still also Mormon. Oh well: At least we have that scary vampire baby to see in the next movie! – James Scott
