Best case scenario: You attend this drag show hosted by Riotgirl. The drag is H-O-T hot, with performances by Louisianna Purchase, Ryan, Embry Officially, Iggy Bank, and the Queen Fantasia Wood. Behind the DJ booth, Salem Purchase spins all the best of electronica/indie/blue-light-removing queen Grimes. Then, as you look across the squirming Chups crowd, you see the long stringy hair and casual chainmail of the woman herself. Grimes catches your eye, too, and she invites you closer with one nickel-scented hand. Together you dance all night and through queer magic, you convince her to delete X from her phone. This is the happy ending I believe we all deserve. Let’s hope Grimes can get a babysitter. – James Scott
