The countdown continues as Sam Raimi’s new directorial feature, Send Help, nears its premiere date. (Friday, Jan. 30, BTW.) Prep yourself for the Michigander’s particular macabre morality plays with this grimy feature, which warns against selfish career climbing through threats of real-deal hell. While not the most accurate depiction of the Romani people – some may even say it’s quite offensive! – they’re not the real villains here. That title’s reserved for protagonist Christine (Alison Lohman right before retirement), who denies the elderly Mrs. Ganush a loan extension and gets hit with a nasty curse in return. Does this get her to reflect on her actions? No way! She’s a conventionally attractive blonde social climber desperate to marry Justin Long. If she can’t outrun a curse, who even could? – James Scott
