So here it is: the last installment of the Twilight saga, or “our long national nightmare.” Part 2 picks up with the formerly human Bella Swan (Stewart) getting her first taste of vampire life, after her bloodsucker husband Edward Cullen (Pattinson) turned her to save her life after the difficult childbirth that concluded Part 1. The plot kicks in when Bella and Edward’s new progeny Renesmee – half-vamp, half-human – is spied by another vampire, who runs to tattle to the Volturi (the undead tribunal) that the Cullens bit a kid – a capital offense. Sanitized bloodlust, decapitated heads, and mixed messages swathed in a soft-focus shimmer ensue. If a late-in-the-film montage of Bella and Edward’s swooniest looks seems familiar, that’s because you've seen the same supercut on YouTube already, spliced together by a small army of sighing girls. Kiddos: I’m sighing too, but only from relief it’s all behind us now.
Opened 11/16/12